When the helper gets tired

A profoundly autistic person borrows calm from you. This guide asks where you borrow yours.

The first guide to address the load of daily life with profound autism from the helper's point of view. It is written for parents and professionals alike, because the phenomenon is the same even when the context differs.

It does not promise that candles and breathing exercises will fix the situation: part of the load is structural, and the guide says so out loud. Alongside that it works through what is in your own hands, starting with recognising exhaustion before the collapse. Four fillable appendices are included.

What you get

- Part I Why the helper gets tired: chronic vigilance, compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma, uncertainty and grief, why ordinary coping advice is not enough

- Part II Recognise it early: your own baseline, the early signs of exhaustion in arousal colours, the bucket of tolerance turned towards you, how your state affects theirs

- Part III Ways through the day: micro-recovery, boundaries and permissions, asking for help concretely, sleep

- Part IV Family and workplace: siblings, the couple relationship, the team, the manager, the risk of struggling alone

- Part V When your own methods are not enough: clear criteria for professional help, where to look, what workplace health support, therapy and supervision can offer

- Appendices: script for asking for help, two-bucket weekly tracking, map of shared load, frame for raising a concern

- 14 research sources, and a clear statement of what rests on research and what on practical experience

Who it is for

For a parent, family member or professional who recognises the tiredness but is not sure it is allowed to be taken seriously. Also for managers and teams who want the structures right before the sick leave starts.

Extent

53 pages, A4 PDF · One PDF file

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